Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Prayers For Dino

Things have been hectic with all this report writing. I was gone most of February, but I still need to do all the February reports. So it has been quite overwhelming to say the least. Of course, this is on top of everything else that I have going on at the creche. It is definitely one day at a time and I just need to remember to breathe every now and then. The adolescents have been getting ready for mid quarter testing, so have been helping them get prepared for that at night time. Lots and lots of work here! It makes everyday that much interesting!

So today was one of those emotional days for me. A little boy, three and a half years old, named Dino* went back home to his biological mother. He was dropped off by his biological mother back in October 2011 and the mother wanted to put him up for adoption. Last month, we finally got all the necessary paperwork ready and the mother was going to the courts to sign her relinquishment of rights documents. Before any parent sign over their rights, we always do another full explanation of what exactly giving up your rights and your child up for adoption means again. We have this talk with the parents initially when they bring their child(ren) in, but we always double check and repeat ourselves. So after almost 6 months of time had passed, the biological mother changed her mind about putting Dino* up for adoption. The problem is that we know she has no means to really provide for Dino* and worst of all, Dino* has Sickle Cell Anemia, which is a medical condition that needs a special diet and regular doctors visits to monitor his progress. These are all things that are nearly impossible for a Haitian single mother to provide. The biological mother stated that she did not fully understand what putting Dino* up for adoption meant and she does not want to lose him, but we are thinking that there must be something that changed over the 6 months, because her financial status has not changed and she fully understood what adoption meant 6 months ago. For many Haitians, religion has a huge factor in changing people's minds about taking their children back. Some parents really can't deal with giving their child up for adoption, others feel guilty, and then there's the ones that feel people are sending bad spirits toward them for their actions.

Needless to say, I had to say goodbye to one of the cutest boys I have ever met. He has a smile of an angel. The part that gets me the most has got to be the fact that we know the child will not get the appropriate medical attention and care and nutrition that he needs, but there's nothing we can do. It is the right of the biological mother to take him back. I understand adoption is the last resort, but in his case, adoption definitely would make his life a lot easier, medically and psychologically speaking. Dino* also suffers from infantile depression and attachment disorder. He has been abandoned and tossed around so many times, that he has learned not to trust others. He does not attach to any care giver, not even to his own biological mother. Him and I have been working together on appropriate attachment styles and ways for him to grieve the loss of his mother over the past 6 months. He was doing so well and I finally got him to smile and giggle when we played. When he first came, he never smiled, didn't speak a word to anyone, and would only sit or stand in the corner by himself. After 6 months of hard work and giving him all the love that I have, he is able to give me hugs and kisses. He is able to play with other children and share toys. He is also able to communicate his needs effectively and use the appropriate emotions when he is mad or sad or happy. He has made such huge progress. I have been so proud of him. Today, he regressed back to the exact same state of indifference and withdrawn look from 6 months ago. He was feeling abandoned again, feeling that loss and pain all over again. I felt so bad for Dino* and I kissed him goodbye. I told him that I loved him and that he was going to be happy with his mother. He looked at his mother and then looked at me. He waved goodbye and without a smile, walked away with his mother, hand in hand. It broke my heart, but there was nothing more that I can do. I just hope and pray with all of my heart that his mother will be able to care for him in the right way and that he will not be abandoned again, both physically and emotionally. I can only pray for his well-being and safety and peace of mind. He will forever be in my heart!

Be strong little one! I am with you spiritually!

1 comment:

  1. you already did what you can to help him, I believe what you did to him will bring him something good in his life later. My prayer goes to Dino.